I’ve often spoken here and elsewhere about women’s right, sexual violence and misogyny, so reading about the passing of the Yes means Yes Sexual Assault Rule makes me very happy indeed.
This is great news about a big step in the right direction. We are finally taking open measures to educate everyone on women’s rights–which, it is my hope, will bring about equality for men as well as women.
Kudos to California–and boo hiss to the idiots that say that passing this law is tantamount to “presume the guilt of the accused.”
For too long the presumption has been that woman who file reports of rape are liars and whores, it’s about time the shoe was in the other foot.
So, ladies and gentlemen out there: the only way for a woman–or a man!–to consent to have sex, is for that individual to say YES. For their sake and your own, never assume that just because they don’t scream “no,” they are actually eager for you to put your sexual organs–or hands, mouth, or proxies thereof–near their bodies.
…but especially, talk to your sons.
When they are still young and flexible enough to appreciate that there is no reason why girls and women should be treated differently than they themselves are treated.
When they are still young enough to understand that they themselves shouldn’t be expected or forced to conform to a stereotype of behaviour that stifles who they are and what they feel.
When they can still learn that there are no gray areas when it comes to assault, violence, degradation of other human beings, based on whether those other human beings have or have not dangly bits, or whether those other human beings declare themselves to be straight, gay, or anything in between or outside of those two.
I often try to forget this date, but this year it’s just been on my mind so vividly…
Nineteen years ago, just shy of six months after my wedding, I was alone in our apartment when the building started shaking. It was so violent, and so long, that clothes hangers fell to the floor, and I couldn’t walk across the room to the door until it was over. The noise the building made was one of the scariest things I’ve experienced.
It was September 19, 1985 in Mexico City, the deadliest and most destructive earthquake the city has seen in its over 700 years history (the current city was built over Tenochtitlán, capital of the Aztec empire, and the valley has been continuously populated since the first Mexica tribes migrated south somewhere in the early 1300s).