No, it’s NOT bullying.

31 Oct

It’s been a weird few weeks and people’s danders are aup all over the place.

But please, could we try and use this one correctly?

No, what the toxic egg aka Nut is doing is not bullying¹–because it is not in a position of power.2

From Wikipedia:

Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power.

It’s fucking annoying if you actually read what it tweets, but it’s not bullying because it cannot force people to do shit. It has no power. Even its power to annoy is limited–all you have to do is not read its tweets.

Easily done.

*

Victims of bullying cannot escape the bullies that easily–that is why chronic bullying, like any other abuse, can have such tragic consequences.

That is why it’s important to the people who are not victims themselves to pay attention and intervene.

So please, please, please–can we stop using that word for every. single. irritant or disagreement in our lives?

*

¹ I’m not commenting over there because it feels more than a bit rude to me to go to someone else’s place for the very first time and have a rant be your contribution to the conversation. I’ve done it, but I don’t much like it.

² I’m going to on a very sturdy limb here and say that its lack of power to harass or intimidate, and its very, very limited power to annoy, are a source of rather a lot grief for the Nut itself.

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5 Responses to “No, it’s NOT bullying.”

  1. authoranitacox 31/10/2014 at 5:32 PM #

    You’re welcome to come rant on my page. I won’t take offense. Since you linked to it, I can only assume you’re referring to my blog post. Please, come, let’s chat. I’m always open to other opinions.

    • azteclady 31/10/2014 at 6:15 PM #

      That’s very gracious of you, Ms Cox, and I may take you up on it.

      I was indeed referring to your post, but mostly because it’s the one thing i saw earlier today that made the glass overflow, so to speak.

      Negative reviews–bullying.
      Criticism–bullying.
      Speaking in support of someone, whether it be because we agree with them (i.e., supporting Jane Little), or because we feel that “there but by the grace of…” (i.e., the reviewer Hale stalked)–bullying.

      • authoranitacox 31/10/2014 at 6:50 PM #

        Ahhhhh! See, I misinterpreted your post. I must be running behind on my coffee intake.

        Negative reviews are only bullying when they don’t review the book and just talk about what a horrible person you are. That…is just asshattery.

        Criticism (hellooooo, we ask for crit partners.) Some people are too sensitive for this industry.

        Bandwagons are for fools. I don’t hop on them. I’m watching the EC v. DA case closely because Randazza is the Michael Jordan of law and entertaining to watch. (Come on, he schooled the Supreme Court on the History of Dicks.)

        The whole Hale thing is just a train wreck I’d rather not wade through the wreckage of. (Yep, I see that preposition ending my sentence and… I’m leaving it there. Because I’m a rebel.)

        Thank you for dropping a comment on my blog. Seems you and I see eye to eye, pretty much.

        I do look forward to the drama subsiding. It’s distracting me from actually writing.

  2. debbie 05/08/2015 at 3:00 PM #

    Sorry to be posting on a somewhat zombie thread and issue — but, when it comes to definitions of bullying I like to add the stipulation that: only living beings can be bullied, not inanimate objects.

    Sure, if someone is being bullied the bully will often stalk them, their commercial products and efforts, their social media, their hobby sites, their friends … just relentlessly pursue everywhere bully feels they can cause harm. But if that’s what’s behind doing a consumer rating or review of a book — that’s consumer fraud, harassment, likely against review site’s TOS and all sorts of law enforcement intervention needed.

    An out of the blue review of your commercial product from an Internet stranger who has not been bullying or harassing you is just a review of your commercial product. Commercial product (book) is not being bullied any more than the commercial interests (author or uploader) behind the product. Being negative, mean or nasty (which incidentally also do not necessarily constitute bullying) about the professional skills of commercial interest(s) responsible for the commercial product is not bullying. You are not bullying a factory worker or the company CEO when you complain about the design skills and production standards that created a car seat that was hard to buckle not are you bullying (or even personally attacking) an author when you complain about their writing skills.

    • azteclady 05/08/2015 at 3:05 PM #

      Indeed (and worry not about necroposting, it’s all good)

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