So it goes (better)

16 Jul

I’m still not reading–which sucks rotten eggs. As KristieJ said in her comment here, it’s like an essential bit of my soul is missing. This is a symptom of other shit going on in my life.

On the positive side, there’s a possibility of a side job in the same company I’m working for. This would be most excellent because, as much as I love my job now, and as good as the people I’m working for and with are,¹ I am not making enough money to cover my bills.

However, as it is not a given yet (hopefully, it’s a “yet” thing), I’m looking for part time jobs/gigs elsewhere. Until I find something, with this company or elsewhere, this–money stress–is one of the things limiting my ability to concentrate on anything but work.²

So, one way or the other, finding a secondary source of income is a priority.

All this to say that I thought things would remain dark and gloomy and sucky for a while.

After all, I couldn’t read, I couldn’t watch movies or tv, crafting has fallen by the wayside (creativity? forget it), nothing held my attention long enough to allow me to forget my financial circumstances.


A friend made it possible for me to watch Sense8.

I had become aware of the show just a bit over two months ago, and was very, very intrigued. Things being as they are, I don’t have Netflix, so I was resigned not to watch it for a good long while. Priorities, you know? A good many things have to be taken care before I think about something like Netflix.

Then, WHAM!!! It’s there for me to watch–no tricks, not strings attached. A thoughtful, wonderful gift, all the sweeter for being unexpected.

I debated for all of three minutes whether to try to watch it, as nothing else has held my attention past ten minutes.

But, seriously, how could I resist?

I surfaced a full hour later, absolutely enthralled. My mind, blown to smithereens.

I have only watched the first episode, and I’ll watch it at least once more–but more likely twice, three times more–before going on to the next. So much going on! So many tantalizing details! So utterly absorbing!

For the first time in almost two months, I lost track of everything. For a full hour, I didn’t think of anything except what was happening on the screen, and once I finished, I spent a good hour more trying to make sense of it, speculating on bits and pieces, characters, storylines, etc.

~ * ~

¹ Well, most of them. There’s one woman, who never–in fourteen months and counting I’ve been here–has brought milk for the coffee. She stealthily sneaks into the kitchenette area to use other people’s creamer, sometimes using up the very last of a container, then putting it back in the fridge.  She is a manager, no less, and makes more than all the other people she steals creamer from. I wonder how she justifies doing this, all the time, in her own mind–she knows we know she is doing it, and that doesn’t stop her. The dialogue in her head must be fascinating.

² I cannot tell you how grateful I am that I can concentrate at work, despite everything and anything else. As you can imagine, I can’t afford to lose my job in the first place, but it’s my good (okay, excellent 😛 ) performance that made them think I could do that side job too.

12 Responses to “So it goes (better)”

  1. Erin S. Burns 16/07/2015 at 9:58 AM #

    We had a person doing that here for a while. Eventually I put the creamer bottle in the refrigerator in a box and put a note on it. “This included my medications.”

    They never stole mine again.

    • azteclady 16/07/2015 at 10:04 AM #

      I’m pondering sticking a note to mine, “if you don’t bring creamer, don’t use other people’s–when you do this every day, it’s not sharing, it’s stealing.” I’m told this may be a tad too pointed, though.

  2. Rowena 16/07/2015 at 2:07 PM #

    I’ve got my fingers crossed that you’ll get a secondary source of income soon. I know all too well how stressful financial problems can be.

    I’m fortunate to work with people who are nice. We’re always buying things for the entire office. Bagels, bread, snacks, cereal and milk, fruit and we all take turns buying coke for our fridge. Our work fridge isn’t filled with lunches. It’s filled with groceries. It feels like a home office.

    Now…Sense8. I am completely obsessed with this show. I have watched the entire first season..twice. I love it and Will is my boyfriend. I call dibs. 🙂 I am also claiming Amanita too. She rocks!

    • azteclady 16/07/2015 at 2:29 PM #

      Sense8: I’m covering my eyes and ears to avoid spoilers–I’m going to watch each episode at least twice and pay close attention to every single hint and clue before I move on to the next.

      Work: thank you–it would help a lot with…everything.

  3. SuperWendy 16/07/2015 at 4:33 PM #

    I hear ya. My slump has been Real Life generated as well. It’s hard to lose yourself in entertainment when you’re stressed out, worried, tired etc. etc. etc. I hope you’re able to find some secondary income soon. They say happiness at work is more important than how much you make – but, um, yeah. A girl’s gotta have a roof over her head, and you know…

    • azteclady 16/07/2015 at 4:43 PM #

      Even if a girl only eats ramen and processed meats, yes.

  4. Lori 18/07/2015 at 2:55 AM #

    Here’s hoping you get out of your head enough to enjoy. I know how hard that can be.

  5. Carolyn 18/07/2015 at 10:01 PM #

    Fingers crossed for the ‘side’ job. Hugs to you.

    • azteclady 18/07/2015 at 10:23 PM #

      Thank you, Carolyn, and right back to you.

  6. Kat 25/07/2015 at 7:29 AM #

    This slump must be going around, because I’m struggling with it, too. The only upside is that I’m bingeing on TV, and Sense8 is on my to-watch list so maybe I’ll move that to the top of my list now! It’s been a week since you wrote this post, so I hope you’ve had good news about the side job, AZ!

    • azteclady 08/08/2015 at 7:02 PM #

      Oh, Kat, I’m so sorry I missed this!

      Sadly, the sad job went to someone outside the company, but I’m looking at other things. So long as I’m breathing, there’s an opportunity out there, right?

      Slump: oh dear, I’m so sorry! I seem to be inching my way up from it (she says, hoping it holds true), but gah! it’s such a horrible thing to go through for any avid reader.

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