Understanding consent: a cup of tea

13 May

Originally posted almost two years ago to the Community section of MyMedia.

I thought I had posted something about it here as well at that time, but a search shows me that I hadn’t. Unfortunately, people (mostly men, but not just men), seem to continue to struggle to understand consent as a concept, so I’m remedying the oversight now.

~ * ~

A couple of months ago, someone sent me a link to a blog post that used an innocuous, simple analogy to explain consent.

Why even go there? Easy. As the author, one Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess, explains, it’s because it would seem people just don’t get it:

It seems like every time an article is written about consent, or a move made towards increasing the onus on the initiator of the sex to ensure that the person they are trying to have sex with, you know, actually WANTS to have sex with them, there are a wave of comments and criticisms.
…it seems people really have a problem understanding that before you have sex with someone, and that’s every time you have sex with them, make sure they want to have sex with you. This goes for men, women, everyone. Whoever you are initiating sexytimes with, just make sure they are actually genuinely up for it. That’s it. It’s not hard. Really.
If you’re still struggling, just imagine instead of initiating sex, you’re making them a cup of tea.

If they say “No thank you” then don’t make them tea. At all. Don’t make them tea, don’t make them drink tea, don’t get annoyed at them for not wanting tea. They just don’t want tea, ok?

Interestingly, this blog post drew quite a bit of attention by people who–amazingly–still didn’t understand consent, or why it even matters.

And then, Blue Seat Studios decided to make consent even easier to understand, by animating Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess’ blog post.

Like this:

“Whether is tea, or sex, consent is everything.”


2 Responses to “Understanding consent: a cup of tea”

  1. Helen R-S 16/05/2017 at 9:34 AM #

    Yes. This.

    (I don’t always comment, because sometimes I can’t think of anything to say beyond “Yes, I agree”, but I do read and appreciate your posts about things like this.)

    • azteclady 16/05/2017 at 9:51 AM #

      Thank you, Helen; I appreciate that you read them!

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