Five years on, still somewhat here.

3 Jan

I have a few moments at work, so I’m dashing off a bit of an update, after the deafening silence on the blog.

Five years ago I started Her Hands, My Hands. I had some hopes for what it would be, and while some of it has not yet come to pass (crafting? ::snort::), it is indeed the place where I can talk about whatever interests me at any given moment. Yay.

The past couple of years–since the orange waste sack started his current run for narcissistic overlord by calling all Mexicans rapists and narcos–have been really hard for me.

There’s the political hellfire that may yet kill millions while two assholes fight over the size of their dicks on twitter. There’s the incredible misogyny and racism everywhere. There’s the new taxes in the US which will hit people like me hard (and will hit even harder people just even a bit worse off than me). There’s the rapid march towards right wing extremism pretty much everywhere.

On the family front, there was my mother’s illness and death, and some other personal issues.

The reading slump from hell that started in early to mid 2015 has pretty much never left me, though there have been a few really good reads (sadly, I’ve yet to publish a decent review of Stormy Nights, the Jules Jones/Stormy Duffy’s anthology, or Rebekah Weatherspoon’s Haven, to name but two).

I became a reader, a voracious one, shy of my 9 birthday. For the next four decades, reading saw me through moving to different countries, having children, postpartum depression, clinic depression, divorce, yet another country move, custody battles, immigration hell, unemployment, food service employment, debt, anxiety, more depression, bereavement, my children’s teen years, and more.

Not having the desire to read these past couple of years? I can’t express how damaging it has been.

What has kept me going, literally, are the people I interact with online. You guys have lifted me up, held me safe, cared for me, through everything.

Thank you.

~ * ~

P.S. I haven’t had internet connection at home for more than a couple minutes running since December 20, and my little Chrome Book finally kicked the bucket on Monday. Being a Luddite, I have never been able to figure out the WordPress phone app, and I really don’t feel comfortable being online for personal stuff at work, so I may continue to be scarce here until I figure out a replacement for the Chromebook, and the effing DSL line to my neighborhood is finally fixed.


18 Responses to “Five years on, still somewhat here.”

  1. Annie Talbot 03/01/2018 at 10:12 AM #

    It is simultaneously good to see you and sad to see that you, too, are struggling. Please be here as much as is comfortable (and technologically possible)!

  2. Miss Bates 03/01/2018 at 10:29 AM #

    My dear Azteclady,
    You are one of the brightest lights that I’ve interacted with on Twitter and here. You make my days happier and I wish you all the best; in the darkest of times and the best, friendship stands as one of our highest achievements.

    • azteclady 03/01/2018 at 10:30 AM #

      ::hug:: Ah, my dear MissB, you can’t know how much your lovely presence has brightened my own days.

      Thank you.

  3. KeiraSoleore 03/01/2018 at 3:04 PM #

    Dear Azteclady. You’ve been much missed on Twitter. I am glad that it is technology that has kept you from visiting as often as usual, and not ill-health or something else. I didn’t want to pry so I’ve been working hard not to enquire too much when you don’t see you as much. You bring joy wherever you go, and I’m really glad you decided to join Twitter.

    • azteclady 04/01/2018 at 7:49 AM #

      ::hug:: Thank you so much, Keira ::hug:: (and the feeling is absolutely mutual, by the way)

  4. willaful 03/01/2018 at 9:42 PM #

    I’ve also missed you on Twitter. I hope for better things for you this year. (For all of us really, but you especially deserve nice things 😉 )

    • azteclady 04/01/2018 at 7:50 AM #

      Better things for everyone: from your keyboard to reality! ::hug::

  5. katesherwood793 04/01/2018 at 8:48 AM #

    I’m mostly a lurker, but just so you know… lurkers appreciate you, too!

  6. SuperWendy 08/01/2018 at 8:37 PM #

    I hope the Internet issues are ironed out soon and you’re able to interact more consistently – although I’ve seen you a bit more on Twitter lately so yippee!

    I managed to get through 70 books in 2017 but if it weren’t for audio my numbers would have been paltry indeed. It’s hard for me to lose myself in a book when, you know, the world is on fire. Which, where I live, can literally mean the world IS on fire. So I vowed to start out 2018 by focusing on autobuy authors that have been languishing in my TBR and am stuck in a Molly O’Keefe glom at the moment. Which means my blog readers may likely get sick of reading reviews for the same author – but hey, I’m reading. And I’m counting that as a win. It’s a slump-busting method I heartily endorse.

    • azteclady 08/01/2018 at 8:39 PM #

      Whatever gets you to read, and to enjoy what you read, is a WIN!

      And here’s praying the world in your neck of the woods doesn’t catch fire again! (thought I saw something about a storm?)

      • SuperWendy 08/01/2018 at 8:49 PM #

        Rain has finally arrived – which we desperately need, but mudslides are now a threat to the burn areas. Some of the canyons are under evacuation orders.

        The Bat Cave is hunky-dory. We moved in November, and while it’s been an adjustment (we went from the suburbs to an urban/downtown area), it’s been great for my piece of mind. I’m a lot less twitchy about potential wild fire threats these days.

      • azteclady 08/01/2018 at 8:50 PM #

        As long as you are safe!

  7. Jules Jones 09/01/2018 at 6:35 AM #

    It’s been a bad year for my American friends, on multiple fronts, and I’m not surprised so many of you are having trouble reading for pleasure. Even where people are reading, they’re having trouble wirting about it. There’s a lot of that going around for one reason or another.

    I’ve been off the air for the last few weeks after a Funny Turn that left me unable to look at a computer screen for more than a few minutes at a time (slowly getting better). Twitter has been a godsend for at least being able to send out brief “not dead” messages, and checking that other people are also not dead. Fortunately I had a stack of audiobooks, on CD no less, and thus have been getting through more books than I had done for quite a while. Actually writing reviews and getting them posted? Don’t think that’s going to happen.

    • azteclady 09/01/2018 at 9:41 AM #

      Oh, Ms Jones, I am so sorry! I hope you get better at an ever faster rate.

      What’s most infuriating to me is that, of the handful of new books I managed to read during 2017, I haven’t managed to write coherent reviews of the ones I liked most. (The draft reads like disjointed bullet points that I can’t seem to connect)

      However, hope springs and all that.


  1. Blogging with Integrity | Her Hands, My Hands - 09/05/2022

    […] I have always described myself as a reader, before most anything else. At different times I’ve been a martial arts student, a horseback rider, a roller skater, a crafter. I have been a mother (of now-adult offspring), and a food service worker, but I have always been a genre reader, even when I have struggled to read. […]

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