Understanding consent: a cup of tea

13 May

Originally posted almost two years ago to the Community section of MyMedia.

I thought I had posted something about it here as well at that time, but a search shows me that I hadn’t. Unfortunately, people (mostly men, but not just men), seem to continue to struggle to understand consent as a concept, so I’m remedying the oversight now.

~ * ~

A couple of months ago, someone sent me a link to a blog post that used an innocuous, simple analogy to explain consent.

Why even go there? Easy. As the author, one Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess, explains, it’s because it would seem people just don’t get it:
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The Girl Who Knew Too Much, by Amanda Quick

9 May

thegirlwhoknewtoomuch

I received an ARC for this novel sometime in late 2016, and it was one of only two new books I read in the months following my mother’s death.

Although I have not yet written any reviews for them, I own and love all of Ms Quick’s early historical novels (Surrender, Mystique, Ravished, etc). In later years, I had given up on her books, after growing a bit fatigued by some writing tics, and frankly tired of the Arcane Society novels.¹

However, the cover caught my eye, and the blurb makes it clear this novel is not part of a series. Best of all, it’s set in California in the 1930s!

Warning: there are a couple of murders, though not much gore; there’s adult language, and sex on the page. If any of these bother you, avoid this one.

The Girl Who Knew Too Much, by Amanda Quick

I liked many things about this novel, starting with how well the setting is rendered. I felt immersed in the period without awkward lectures or info-dumping. Both of the main characters are complex and three dimensional, and their world is populated by three dimensional, complex people.

The suspense thread is a lot more layered than the blurb would make one think, and the story is told from several characters’ point of view, which allows the reader to believe she knows more than our hero and heroine.
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Women have it SO good.

6 May

(Originally posted to the Community section of MyMedia)

Another day in that Utopia where “women have it so good.”

A couple of months ago, Oklahoma State Representative Justin Humphrey kindly explained that women who become pregnant are merely hosts, stupidly deluded into thinking that it is their own body going through the pregnancy. Therefore, and whether that pregnancy is simply unplanned, not wanted, or the result of rape, those women ‘invited it in’ and should therefore be required to obtain the father’s permission in order to obtain an abortion.

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IWD thread: an update

7 Apr

(Originally posted to the Community section of MyMedia)

For those who read this thread, I offer an apology.

It’s very difficult for me, given current events, to find motivation to continue talking about the need for everyone–including women–to see everyone else–particularly women, both cis and trans, and gender fluid/gender queer people–as equals.

The current administration has declared April to be “Sexual Assault Awareness Month.”

Irony has died.

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Oooopsss — status report chez aztec

5 Apr

Just a quick note: a number of posts that I thought I had scheduled to post over the past month and a half never posted–because aztec didn’t pay attention, and saved them all as drafts.

Most of them belong to the International Women’s Day thread/page, and a couple of reviews, so they will be back dated to when I originally had intended them to post. I apologize in advance, particularly if you subscribe to email notifications and get a bunch of them today.

On other news: I caved to peer pressure and am now on twitter, @herhandsmyhands.

Women’s pain, again.

21 Mar

(Originally posted to the Community section of MyMedia)

I have linked to some stuff on the incredible gender bias in healthcare before.

Here’s a recent BuzzFeed piece, with 29 accounts of specific cases in which women’s health concerns and pain were dismissed out of hand–and some of the indelible, lifelong negative consequences of said dismissal.

This is not new, and while it’s more prevalent among male health providers, even female doctors and nurse practitioners have been indoctrinated into dismissing female pain as exaggerated. We are expected to soldier on, regardless, and we often do, because we also, often, have no choice.

But the fact that we take it doesn’t alleviate the responsibility of those causing harm by dismissing our voices and our knowledge of our own bodies.

That didn’t take long.

16 Mar

(Originally posted to the Community section of MyMedia)

And…it took barely two days after the Fearless Girl was installed, before a particularly privileged white male, to the applause of some of his friends, thought it funny to mock fuck it.

“Almost as if out of central casting, some Wall Street finance broseph appeared and started humping the statue while his gross date rape-y friends laughed and cheered him on,”

I imagine many people, particularly men, will shrug the incident off. And that the same tire platitutdes will be uttered.

Boys will be boys! They were probably drunk! It’s a harmless joke!

Considering how often real women, and young girls, are exposed to this same behaviour, and how often these assaults are dismissed with these same attitudes/excuses…yeah, call me over sensitive, but both the behaviour and all the justifications for it are, precisely, why feminism is needed.