Biology, social conditioning, sex and pain

(Originally posted to the Community forum at MyMedia)

So.

#MeToo.

Women talking for a few weeks (perhaps just over a month?*) about their experiences with different levels of sexual violence/assault/harassment.

Lo and behold, to most women’s sorrow, yet utter lack of surprise, it turns out the most of the women we know have suffered some sort of sexual violence, and sometimes several different kinds, sometimes more than once over the course of their lives, sometimes at the hands of several different men.

And the natural response, from #notallmen, is to express their dismay that all this outpouring of female suffering…will make their dating lives harder.

That men will become afraid of dating, because “accusations of sexual abuse/domestic partner violence ruin lives!” (I can off the top of my head name at least an even dozen of male celebrities whose professional lives have suffered NO HARM, regardless of how many people bring receipts–hello, Woody Allen, Johnny Depp, Chris Brown, Casey Affleck, Donald Trump, Floyd Maywather, Kobe Bryant, Azis Ansari, Mike Tyson, James Franco, Al Franken, Joel Kramer, Kevin Spacey).

That mostly women accuse men to ‘gain something’ or ‘for revenge’ (the ultimate whine on that vein: Larry Nassar’s letter to the sentencing judge quoting ‘hell hath no fury’).

And, the icing on the WTAF cake: that women should consider/understand/learn about how men cannot control themselves because ‘biology.’ That this is ‘just how men are.’ The pseudo grown up version of ‘boys will be boys,’ if you will.

So, let’s talk biology, social conditioning, and pain.

“What about the meeeeeeeennnnnzzzzzz???????”

Originally posted to the Community section at MyMedia

“Why do you harp so much on all the injustices done to women? What about the MEEEEEENNNNN??????”

Meet Jessica Eaton, who runs a charity exclusively focused on men’s mental health (in the UK), getting zero criticism from either men or women for this, yet gets everything from “you fat c*nt feminist” to rape and death threats for her advocacy against blaming women and girl victims of violence.

Terry Crews, speaking out

Terry Crews knows from personal experience why sometimes victims of sexual assault and harassment need years, if not decades, before they can speak out–when they can.

To add to the incredible fuckery, we must also consider the racial component. Had this white man assaulted another white man, he would have at the very least gotten a fist to the face. But a black man can’t defend himself in the same way.

Socializing girls to become victims.

Originally posted to the Community section of MyMedia.
Added content at the end.

Why does it take women so long to speak up about sexual assault?

Oh let me count the reasons.

Harvey Weinstein hired people to threaten some of his victims.

Roy Moore has ridiculed those of his victims who have spoken up on national TV, and Breitbart has announced that they are sending two ‘reporters’ down to Alabama with the specific goal of ‘finding dirt’ on them.

One of the things being trotted out is that at least one of these women has married/divorced three times, and has declared bankruptcy at some point.¹ I mean, who would think that being sexually abused as a child would have negative effects on the child’s development? What a freaking concept.

Beyond the fear, constantly reinforced, that there will be real consequences (rape and death threats are not uncommon), or that victims will not be believed, even by close family members, there are many other reasons women don’t come forward for years, if ever.

One of them is how girls are socialized to have no boundaries.