7 Jan

I find myself in need of advice from the sensible people who regularly read this blog.

On social media I shared a fundraiser for someone who very much needs help, due to a bunch of life happening with a vengeance. I am not going to name this person, for reasons that’ll become obvious.1

I was going to share their GFM again just now, when I noticed that it had met its goal–great news!–except that now the goal is $1K more than it was when I first shared it.

Which actually makes sense to me, as the original goal was very, very modest–too modest, it seemed to me, for the stated needs.

So, increasing the goal of the fundraiser: good.

However, there’s no update anywhere to reflect the changed goal, and that feels a bit weird to me.

Because if I noticed the change in goal for the fundraiser, other people have noticed too, and rumors will start to spread like fire.

Given all the shenanigans going on with fundraising for people who’ve died (but not really2) or who had cancer (but not really)3 and so on and so on, it seems to me that a brief update to the GFM explaining that the response to the original goal was so great that they’ve felt encouraged to increase the goal by a bit, for their peace of mind and so on and so forth, would be important.

With the understanding that I am not close to this person (I doubt they would recognize my online handle), here’s my question:

Should I try to contact the person raising money and suggest they post an update, explaining why I feel it’s a good idea they do so, or, should I shut the hell up and let them be; their life is already hard as fuck as it is?


Thank you in advance for any wisdom you share with me here.

* * * *

UPDATE the first: I must clarify that one of the reasons I hesitated to contact the person is that I hadn’t found a way to do it directly; twitter is not letting me do it (perhaps because my account is locked and they don’t follow me; perhaps because they have their DMs locked and I don’t follow them; or perhaps because the bird site is dying at the hands of Felon Husk), and I cannot find a current email for them.

However! A brilliant soul ::waving at Dr Laura Vivanco:: suggested the most obvious solution, which had eluded me: I’ll try to send a private message with a second donation. Wish me luck!

* * * *

1 For clarity: this is not about any of the fundraisers I spoke about here. (Also, as of right now, you still can fulfill wishes for the people in Andrea’s Romancelandia Holiday Fairies spreadsheet)

2 Do a search for Susan Meachen

3 If you search “faked cancer, got money”, there will be over a dozen of results on the first page just for teachers in the U.S. who faked cancer and got money from fundraising organized by friends and co-workers, going back seven or eight years.

2 Responses to “Quandary!”

  1. willaful 08/01/2023 at 5:54 PM #

    I honestly don’t know. I think my instinct is to stay out of it.

    • azteclady 08/01/2023 at 5:57 PM #

      I’m torn right down the middle; half of me says the same: not my business, stay out.

      But the part that wants people to get what they need (in this case, to raise what funds they need and to keep the community’s goodwill–because even if they reach their goal this time, no one’s future is set in stone, and they may need help again down the road), is dying a little with every passing hour that there’s no update, because we’ve seen how quickly things can turn online.

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