Pain makes me catty(er than usual)

30 Jan

I have a number of crowns, some of them pretty damned old, along the left upper side of my mouth, and I have managed to avoid the need for a root canal on any of them.

Up to now.

I’m pretty sure that one of the crowns cracked somewhere, all the way through what’s left of the root of that molar, and the pain has been non-stop for a couple of days.

It’s so fucking bad I could cry, and would if I thought that would do anything to diminish the pain.

I don’t know how I had managed to forget just how hideous toothache is.

~ * ~

In a forum I belong to, a guy recommended a book most enthusiastically: “It’s so good I couldn’t put it down, I read it in three days!”

My reaction? A book I can’t put down gets read in a handful of hours, without pause (who needs sleep?)

~ * ~

One of my co-workers spent a good fifteen minutes today explaining to another coworker how the media conspires with Obama: they are reporting on the petition to deport Justin Bieber in order to cover up the FEMA coffins Obama has set up as part of the health care reform.

(I wonder if I can backtrack the demise of that crown to grinding my teeth to keep quiet when these conversations happen.)

~ * ~

Yesterday, a customer started ordering in a really mangled manner–between the accent and the grammar, it was obvious English was not his first language. As I sometimes do, I started explaining our menu in Spanish, to which he took incredible offense. Apparently, I’m a racist towards people who look and sound Hispanic (and have Hispanic names, as I saw from his credit card).

Considering that a) about 99% of our Hispanic customers find my doing this pretty damned helpful, and b) I am Mexican by birth myself, I think he was pretty much full of shit.

(Keeping my mouth shut on instances like this one probably contributed to the cracking of the crown as well.)

~ * ~

Way back when–about six weeks after my in-company interview, so that would be sometime in late November–there were hints that I would get the next salary manager position opening at my store. Since there is another location opening in a few weeks and the least likeable of our managers is being transferred there, I was pretty optimistic about my near future financial situation (even the lowest salary is about twice what I make, plus insurance–see toothache above).

Today I learned that they are eliminating that position.

Writing on the wall: I need to solve my car issue NOW so I can get another job and walk out of this shithole.

~ * ~

I was in a long distance relationship for almost six years and it has taken me a long time to (sorta) recover from it ending. I still love this man, and I miss him like crazy. Two years, two and a half months, and I still think to myself a dozen times a day, “wonder what would Issek think of this.”

(In case anyone out there had a doubt: unrequited love sucks big, hairy, stinky donkeys balls)

Anyway…

So I’m sort of thinking that it’s time I stopped hoping for a reconciliation and open myself to the possibility of another relationship.

The universe, however, seems to have slightly different ideas. The last three men who have…approached? me:

  • About my age, about 18 inches shorter than me (keep in mind I’m 5’4″ on a good day),  about as round as he’s tall, and with nothing to say that is not work related.
  • About twenty years my senior, a customer, told my (then) manager he was attracted to me, dropped off flowers and a card while I was working (awkward), then when I stopped by to thank him for them (against my better judgement, by the by), he asked me to move in with him–to a different city, since he was in the process of moving there. (…!!!!!!!)
  • About my son’s age.

I’m rethinking the idea of opening myself to people–probably ever again.

~ * ~

On the plus side:

  • I have managed five reviews so far this month, and have one in the works for tomorrow. I don’t want to jinx it but perhaps the mojo is coming back.
  • An Etsy customer left me a lovely review.

~ * ~

Yikes, my plus side is pretty damned pathetic.

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4 Responses to “Pain makes me catty(er than usual)”

  1. Lori 31/01/2014 at 12:07 AM #

    I shouldn’t laugh but I had to laugh.The only men who show interest in me nowadays are 30 years my senior and since I’m in my 50s, that just ain’t gonna fly.

    You need a new job.And smarter coworkers.

    In fact, you need a whole new life. Seattle’s very pretty this time of year 😉

    • azteclady 31/01/2014 at 6:26 AM #

      Funny you should mention Seattle–my son is staying in California for the foreseeable future, and my daughter wants to transfer to a college in Seattle, and I have been dreaming of living in the Northwest since I first read a novel by Elizabeth Lowell set there.

      Sadly, I’m too much of a coward to even consider moving without some sort of financial cushion or a job already set up–debt keeps me up nights.

      As for my coworkers, that particular girl is barely nineteen and petty much just regurgitating what her parents believe. Perhaps eventually she’ll try looking up the facts and thinking for herself–at least, that’s my hope for her and all the kidlets I work with.

  2. SuperWendy 31/01/2014 at 1:23 PM #

    The last guy who hit on me was while I was working the reference desk – which if you’ve been in a urban public library recently you’ll understand just how “overjoyed” I was by this 😉 Gee, how ever did I resist?

    Yes, you need to find a new job. I’ve worked jobs like the one you have now – and it’s a hard road. Especially when you’re a competent employee who does their damn job. Honestly your managers should be OVERJOYED that you work there because good employees in that line of work are like finding hen’s teeth.

    • azteclady 31/01/2014 at 4:42 PM #

      I’m sure you were secretly thrilled 😀

      And thank you, so much, for your kind words. More and more, this company’s aim to squeeze out more while giving you less and less. I can’t tell you how much I’m hoping to find something else so I can give them all the finger.

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