“If women didn’t…”

15 Oct

Originally posted to the Community section at MyMedia

When Tippi Hedren said that Alfred Hitchock harassed her in the set of The Birds, Hitchcock ‘experts’ were given page space and air time to call her a liar.

When 60 (SIXTY!) women came forward to say that Bill Cosby had raped them, we were told that all they wanted was money and fame–and he was acquitted.

When Brock Turner was found guilty of raping an unconscious woman, his father asked the court to consider that ’20 minutes of action’ shouldn’t weigh more than the potential of his future–and the judge agreed, sentencing a convicted rapist to six months of jail, of which he served three.

When ~20 women said that Donald Trump–who had admitted on tape to grabbing women by the pussy and ‘just kissing them’ without asking or waiting for consent–had sexually assaulted them, the ripple of shock lasted less than two weeks, and his ass presently sits at the White House, supporting misogynistic measures, approving of literal Nazis, and signing executive orders cancelling subsidies for health care for the poorest in the country.

Now that Harvey Weinstein is on the hot seat for serially abusing women for decades, including raping them, we hear condemnation for…Hillary Clinton, currently a private citizen.

We also hear condemnations for…Harvey Weinstein’s victims, with vociferous voices demanding to know why these accusations weren’t made at the time of the attacks, why did these women keep silent, why didn’t these victims think of all the women who would be victimized after them, why didn’t these victims come forward, speak out, speak up, why…

Why, indeed.

Men, and many women, hold individual women responsible for the shitty actions, behaviours, thoughts of criminal men.

“If women didn’t go out drinking with men, they wouldn’t be harassed/abused/raped.”

Women: “I wasn’t drinking alcohol, my non-alcoholic drink was spiked with a rape drug, and I was attacked when I was unconscious.”

“If women didn’t go out alone with men, they couldn’t be harassed/abused/raped.”

Women: “I wasn’t alone with him, there were other people with us, and they did nothing to help me.”

“If women wouldn’t go out with men they don’t know well, they wouldn’t be harassed/abused/raped.”

Women: “I had known him for years, and he raped me.”

“If women kept work and socialization separate, they wouldn’t be harassed/abused/raped.”

Women: “I was harassed and groped at work.”

“If women reported abuse at work to Human Resources, they wouldn’t be harassed/abused/raped.”

Women: “I followed every procedure to report sexual abuse by my boss/co-workers/top executives, that HR told me to…and, after years of stellar evaluations, I was fired for ‘poor performance.'”

“If women spoke up about abusive men, they wouldn’t be harassed/abused/raped.”

Women: “When I told my group of friends that one of the men in the group had groped me, they expressed shock, but remained his friends. When I told them his jokes and body language made me feel unsafe, they told me I ‘misunderstood’ him. When I said that I knew he was a sexual abuser, they told me to stop ‘spreading rumors’ and ‘defaming’ him. When I told them he had raped me, they didn’t believe me.”

“If women didn’t put themselves in dangerous situations, they wouldn’t be harassed/abused/raped.”

Women: “We are raped by our relatives, we are raped by our parents’ friends, we are raped by other students, teachers, cops, bosses, customers at places of employments, doctors at their offices…”

“If women didn’t dress that way, talk that way, walk that way, think that way, be there, work in that industry, live in that country, they wouldn’t be harassed/abused/raped.”

Women: …

But there’s no such thing as sexism, there is no such thing as rape culture, there is no such thing as toxic masculinity, and anything bad that happens to women is because women did something to provoke it

3 Responses to ““If women didn’t…””

  1. Patricia Burroughs aka Pooks 15/10/2017 at 10:59 AM #

    Sharing on Facebook. Also, Bill Clinton? Remember that the stories [all dismissed as hearsay and lies] went back decades, and all the women who accused him were systematically defiled by the Clinton machine and made to look unreliable, dishonest, and worse. And he was supported by the National Organization for Women. Because when it comes to politics, people will hold their noses and vote for the politicians anyway–whether they are affiliated with organized crime, blatantly selling their votes or–oh yeah, sexual predators.

  2. Bona 18/10/2017 at 5:03 PM #

    You are so right. Women are not believed, just like that. They are always the ones to blame, You see how stupid these excuses are when you find them in another culture. For instance, I remember men explaining rape in India because the woman was in the bus at 8 pm, (‘honest women’ should be at home at that hour, it seems) or in a mall alone (you have to go shopping with a male).
    Women are considered unrealiable not only when they say they have been victims of a crime, but also when we are working. I have sometimes seen these attitudes of doubting what a woman says at work -a female doctor or lawyer or architect, for instance.

    • azteclady 18/10/2017 at 5:42 PM #

      Oh, absolutely! Having men explain what a woman just explained is the norm rather than the exception, pretty much everywhere. Sexual harassment and assault are the extreme results of endemic misogyny that manifests at every level and in every field in society.

      And it’s several levels of magnitude worse for women of color.

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